Poetry: This Was Supposed to Be a Poem

I wrote this last night after an indescribable school day. I am extremely raw and frustrated right now. I know that we will get through this, but that does not mean that yesterday was not horrifying.

This was supposed to be a poem

About victory and relief

With lyrical metaphors of broken

Glass ceilings.

 

This is not a poem

About victory

I have nothing to share but what I saw today:

 

Empty faces

Scared

Shocked

Searching for something other than

This.

 

Off-balance bodies

That tried to step forward and were instead shoved

Back.

 

Wide eyes and muddled minds

That forgot youth

Was a bubble, and all bubbles

Pop.

 

My class is staring into our future

And a horrifying abyss is staring

Back.

 

We thought we would break glass last night,

But we broke instead.

Top Ten Books I Want to Read Before the Year Ends

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

Happy Tuesday! This week’s topic is supposed to be Books I’ve Added to my TBR Recently, but my TBR is a disaster right now, so I’m taking my own spin on the topic. Here are some books that I hope to read before the year ends.

1. Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

I read the Grisha trilogy over summer and didn’t love it, but I’ve heard amazing things about the sequel series. My friend just read it and DIED over it, so I know I have to read it soon.

2. Firsts by Laurie Elizabeth Flynn

I have literally been meaning to read this book all year…and yet I never got around to it. I can’t let 2016 end without reading this book finally,

3. Furthermore by Tahereh Mafi

I am fascinated by this book—I mean, when I think Tahereh Mafi, I definitely do not think MG. I know that she will do an incredible job with the genre and the story.

4. Calamity (The Reckoners #3) by Brandon Sanderson

Another book that I have been meaning to read since it came out! I love everything Brandon Sanderson writes, and I am ready to finish the Reckoners’ story.

5. Falling Kingdoms by Morgan Rhodes

I’ve had this book forever. My sister read it and didn’t love it, but there is a lot of love for the series, so I want to give it a shot.

6. Gemina (Illuminae Files #2) by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman

BECAUSE OF COURSE. Just looking at this book makes my heart race, though, so I’ll probably wait to read it until a break from school and its stress, lol.

7. The Sweetheart by Angelina Mirabella

My sister has been bugging me to read this book for months. I should read it before 2016 ends, just so that she won’t nag me in two different years 😉

8. His Majesty’s Dragon (Temeraire #1) by Naomi Novik

I LOVED Uprooted (if you haven’t read it, GO READ IT) so I am excited to see what else Naomi Novik has created. The series is nine books long and the last one finally came out, so I think it’s time to binge-read it. I just started this book, and so far it’s good—but I’m only 10 pages in.

9. Blood for Blood (Wolf by Wolf #2) by Ryan Graudin

Another OF COURSE on my TBR. Wolf by Wolf was incredible, so I HAVE to know how the story ends.

10. milk and honey by Rupi Kaur

I’ve seen this book everywhere and I’m excited for it. I don’t read a lot of poetry, but I took some poetry classes earlier this year and it reminded me just how much I like poems when I read them.

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What books do you want to read before the year is over? What books are on your TBR and what books should I add to my own?

Poetry: Page One

You stand on Page One

Broken

But fighting

Bleeding

But standing

Always

Surviving

 

You are not the Warrior

The Queen

The Wizard or the Mage

Of the last pages of my favorite novels

 

But they flicker inside of you

Embers of future flames

 

You are healing

Cracks closing

Blood clotting

Wounds scarring

Into memories

 

There is a word for taking something broken

And putting it back together with gold between the cracks

 

Don’t sell yourself short with

The dollar store super glue that

That attendant tried to sell you

Don’t buy it

 

Your story is just beginning

But I believe I know how it ends

Top Ten Books I’d Buy This Second If Someone Handed Me A Fully Loaded Gift Card

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

All I could think when I saw this week’s topic was HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE?! See, I’ve been buying books recently, but only to continue series or from used bookstores, so I haven’t gotten that exciting feeling of buying a new book just to own it in a while. There are sooo many books that I would buy if money weren’t an issue.

1. A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab

2. My Lady Jane by Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton, and Jodi Meadows (Goodreads Author)

3. The Winner’s Curse by Marie Rutkoski

4. Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

5. More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera

6. My Life Next Door by Huntley Fitzpatrick

7. Red Rising by Pierce Brown

8. The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic

9. milk and honey by Rupi Kaur

10. The Serpent King by Jeff Zentner

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What about you? Which books would you buy? Have you read any of these books?

May Wrap-Up 2016

In My Life

May is over—and with it, the school year! Today is my last day of school and I am soooo excited for summer. I’ve survived junior year and that is giving me so much joy right now.

Honestly, not much happened this month. I took my AP exams, which went pretty well, and then school calmed down to the point where it feels like summer has kind of already started.

On This Blog

I had eight blog posts this month, which kind of sucks. I was finally starting to get back into the rhythm of blogging near the end of the month, but the beginning of this month was rough. I can’t tell you how glad I am that AP exams are over and that my life can go back to normal.

I only had one Top Ten Tuesday this month: Top Ten Books I Feel Differently About Now That Time Has Passed. One more thing I’m trying to get back into the habit of doing.

In Reading and Reviewing

I read seven (ish) books this month (ish because I started the month by finishing one and ended it by almost finishing another), and reviewed four of them. After AP exams ended, my classes calmed down a ton and I was able to read a lot. YAY!

Reviews are linked to in book titles (if they exist)

• Out of Darkness by Ashely Hope Perez — 4.5/5 stars
• These Broken Stars (Starbound #1) Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner  — 4/5 stars
• This Shattered World (Starbound #2) Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner — 4/5 stars
• Their Fractured Light (Starbound #3) Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner
• Uprooted by Naomi Novik  — 5/5 stars
• The Raven Boys (The Raven Cycle #1) by Maggie Stiefvater
• The Dream Thieves (The Raven Cycle #2) by Maggie Stiefvater

In Writing

Yeah…you know what didn’t happen this month? Yep, you guessed it—writing. I published one poem (You Came Back) and did no other writing. I’m hoping that summer will be better for this.

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How was you May? For people who took AP exams, how did they go? What are your summer plans?

Poetry: You Came Back

You came back

Just long enough

To freshen the memories and

Unclog the tear ducts

 

You tracked in dirt

From memory lane

Leaving me

To clean up the mess

 

Thanks, a lot.

At least

I have something to write about

Again

April Wrap-Up

In My Life

April was rough. Prepping for my AP exams (APUSH, AP Lang, and Calc AB) left little time for reading or blogging, which sucked. The first two weeks of May will be dominated by actually taking the tests, which also sucks—but then I’ll be free.

On this Blog

I only had six posts this month! *cries* Thank you to everyone who stuck with my through my unannounced hiatus. I hope to get back to my regular blogging schedule soon.

I do really like the posts that I wrote this month, however. I had two discussion based posts, both of which got kind of personal. I discussed whether to give myself reading “homework” and what it is like to read YA as a girl who cries. Also, 52 Letters turned two!

In shorter posts, I did the Cookie Book Tag, the BFF Book Tag, and received the Entertainer Blogger Award.

In Reading and Reviewing

I had no book reviews this month! AHHH wow I don’t think that has ever happened. Whoops.

I read two and a half books. I finished Shadows of Self and read Bands of Mourning, both parts of the Mistborn sequel series. I loved both of them and can’t wait to fangirl about them in my reviews (when I have a spare minute to write them).

I started Out of Darkness by Ashley Hope Perez. I am about halfway through and it is amazing—very dark and emotional and intensely real. I’m fascinated to see where the story takes me…probably to some place with tears.

In Writing

I had a good month for writing. I didn’t add anything to my WIP, which wasn’t ideal, but I did something else…

I took part in the University of Iowa’s Teen Flashwrite MOOC. It was a massive online classroom where I got to learn more about the specifics of writing poetry, discuss poetry with experts, and then have my work critiqued by fellow students and teachers.

It was a fantastic experience and I’m sooooooooo glad that I decided to take part (despite how busy this month was). I met a ton of cool people, and I’m hoping that some of the friendships I formed will last a while.

I’ll probably share some of the poems I wrote and some of the stuff I learned in later posts.

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How was your April? What books did you read? Did you have any exciting posts?

Fellow AP students—how are you doing? Are you hanging in there? Which tests are you most worried about? How ready are you for APs to be OVER?

Also! I haven’t had a chance to bloghop in a while, so if you have had any posts that you’re really proud of, link to them and I’ll check them out! I want to see what everyone has been up to while I’ve been studying. 🙂

March 2016 Wrap-Up!

Well, there goes March…

In My Life

This month was pretty good. School was, you know, schooly. We got a week of spring break, though, which was awesome. I got to decompress, watch TV, and write (more on that later).

I also messed around a lot with Photoshop, watching tutorials and doing my own stuff, which is something that I really enjoy but rarely have time for. I might post some of my projects here, if I get enough that I really like.

I also helped my sister with her sewing (read: was her human dress form) and did a photoshoot for one of her old projects. (My sister sews costumes for fun and I get to wear them.) You can check out some pics at her Instagram @by_strings_attached. 🙂

In Blogging

I had 13 posts this month. While I wish that I’d had more, I had a major lack of inspiration, so I’m not complaining.

If you haven’t visited the web version of my blog, you may not know that 52 Letters got a much-needed redesign this month. I realized that the design aesthetic that I had started using in my individual graphics for posts was very different from the way my blog looked…and that I liked it more. So I changed everything to match that new design theme. I also dropped the .wordpress in my blog name, which is mostly symbolic, but makes me feel good. 🙂 What do you think?

sorry for the low quality pic

One thing that I’m super proud of this month was my discussion post series Breaking Down the Trilogy, in which I talked about each book in a trilogy on its own. You can read Book One, Book Two, and Book Three.

I also wrote a random discussion post about which blog posts I actually read and got back into Top Ten Tuesday (with Top Ten Books On My Spring TBR and Top Ten Books I Meant To Talk About More).

In Reading and Reviewing

This was a less than great month for reading. It’s weird, but when I’m on breaks, I read less than when I’m in school. (Does that happen to anyone else?)

I only read two and a half books!!! They were really good, though.

• Ready Player One by Ernest Cline — 4/5 stars
  • a book that lived up to the hype…finally!
• The Alloy of Law by Brandon Sanderson — 4.5/5 stars
  • I didn’t do a really book review for this one, but I talked about one of my favorite characters and why I loved her so much
• Rook by Sharon Cameron — 3.5/5 stars
  • I read this book last month, but I reviewed it this month

I’m halfway through Shadows of Self by Brandon Sanderson, the second book in the Alloy of Law series. Oh! And I’m also reading Moby-Dick for school…and I’m actually enjoying it more than I thought I would.

In Writing

This was a great month for writing! (Wow, I don’t think I’ve written that in a while…) Though I didn’t read much on break, it’s okay, because I was actually writing!

I wrote about 10,000 words this month, most of those during the week of spring break. I know that for regular authors that could be a day’s work, but for me, it was more than I’ve done in a while. I’m almost done with my WIP…and then edits start. *cries*

I’m hoping that I can carry this momentum forward into April and finally finish this draft.

I also published three poems this month.

• The Secret of Perpetual Motion
• Stolen Fire
• Come Back

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How was your March? What are your plans for April?

Poetry: Come Back

You were intriguing

You were different

You smiled without

Smirking

Talked without

Boasting

Laughed without

Mocking

You were quiet

But confident

 

And I knew that it could

That it would

Fall apart—

In some way,

This was inevitable—

 

But I thought you’d come back

With arrogant shoulders

Or snarky lips

Or a laugh that reeked

With the stench of pride

 

I never imagined

That you’d come back

And still be so far away

 

It never occurred to me

That you could come back

Empty.

Poetry: Stolen Fire

I used to have a raging fire—

Crackling, dancing, bursting, writhing

Wouldn’t sit still, wouldn’t calm down

It devoured and it lived—

 

But I ran out of logs

But at least I still had kindling—

But I ran out of that as well

But at least I still had embers—

To hold back the looming darkness

But the wind carried each off

One by one…

Silent theif.

 

Where did that spark go?

I wonder

Fumbling in the dark

Who stole my matches?

Do they want me to freeze tonight?

When did the night

Grow so dark

And cold?

How will I get my fire back

When it never occurred to me to wonder

How the first one started?

 

How did I never notice

The importance of my fire

To beat back the night inside of me?