Poetry: This Was Supposed to Be a Poem

I wrote this last night after an indescribable school day. I am extremely raw and frustrated right now. I know that we will get through this, but that does not mean that yesterday was not horrifying.

This was supposed to be a poem

About victory and relief

With lyrical metaphors of broken

Glass ceilings.

 

This is not a poem

About victory

I have nothing to share but what I saw today:

 

Empty faces

Scared

Shocked

Searching for something other than

This.

 

Off-balance bodies

That tried to step forward and were instead shoved

Back.

 

Wide eyes and muddled minds

That forgot youth

Was a bubble, and all bubbles

Pop.

 

My class is staring into our future

And a horrifying abyss is staring

Back.

 

We thought we would break glass last night,

But we broke instead.

Poetry: Page One

You stand on Page One

Broken

But fighting

Bleeding

But standing

Always

Surviving

 

You are not the Warrior

The Queen

The Wizard or the Mage

Of the last pages of my favorite novels

 

But they flicker inside of you

Embers of future flames

 

You are healing

Cracks closing

Blood clotting

Wounds scarring

Into memories

 

There is a word for taking something broken

And putting it back together with gold between the cracks

 

Don’t sell yourself short with

The dollar store super glue that

That attendant tried to sell you

Don’t buy it

 

Your story is just beginning

But I believe I know how it ends

Poetry: You Came Back

You came back

Just long enough

To freshen the memories and

Unclog the tear ducts

 

You tracked in dirt

From memory lane

Leaving me

To clean up the mess

 

Thanks, a lot.

At least

I have something to write about

Again

April Wrap-Up

In My Life

April was rough. Prepping for my AP exams (APUSH, AP Lang, and Calc AB) left little time for reading or blogging, which sucked. The first two weeks of May will be dominated by actually taking the tests, which also sucks—but then I’ll be free.

On this Blog

I only had six posts this month! *cries* Thank you to everyone who stuck with my through my unannounced hiatus. I hope to get back to my regular blogging schedule soon.

I do really like the posts that I wrote this month, however. I had two discussion based posts, both of which got kind of personal. I discussed whether to give myself reading “homework” and what it is like to read YA as a girl who cries. Also, 52 Letters turned two!

In shorter posts, I did the Cookie Book Tag, the BFF Book Tag, and received the Entertainer Blogger Award.

In Reading and Reviewing

I had no book reviews this month! AHHH wow I don’t think that has ever happened. Whoops.

I read two and a half books. I finished Shadows of Self and read Bands of Mourning, both parts of the Mistborn sequel series. I loved both of them and can’t wait to fangirl about them in my reviews (when I have a spare minute to write them).

I started Out of Darkness by Ashley Hope Perez. I am about halfway through and it is amazing—very dark and emotional and intensely real. I’m fascinated to see where the story takes me…probably to some place with tears.

In Writing

I had a good month for writing. I didn’t add anything to my WIP, which wasn’t ideal, but I did something else…

I took part in the University of Iowa’s Teen Flashwrite MOOC. It was a massive online classroom where I got to learn more about the specifics of writing poetry, discuss poetry with experts, and then have my work critiqued by fellow students and teachers.

It was a fantastic experience and I’m sooooooooo glad that I decided to take part (despite how busy this month was). I met a ton of cool people, and I’m hoping that some of the friendships I formed will last a while.

I’ll probably share some of the poems I wrote and some of the stuff I learned in later posts.

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How was your April? What books did you read? Did you have any exciting posts?

Fellow AP students—how are you doing? Are you hanging in there? Which tests are you most worried about? How ready are you for APs to be OVER?

Also! I haven’t had a chance to bloghop in a while, so if you have had any posts that you’re really proud of, link to them and I’ll check them out! I want to see what everyone has been up to while I’ve been studying. 🙂

March 2016 Wrap-Up!

Well, there goes March…

In My Life

This month was pretty good. School was, you know, schooly. We got a week of spring break, though, which was awesome. I got to decompress, watch TV, and write (more on that later).

I also messed around a lot with Photoshop, watching tutorials and doing my own stuff, which is something that I really enjoy but rarely have time for. I might post some of my projects here, if I get enough that I really like.

I also helped my sister with her sewing (read: was her human dress form) and did a photoshoot for one of her old projects. (My sister sews costumes for fun and I get to wear them.) You can check out some pics at her Instagram @by_strings_attached. 🙂

In Blogging

I had 13 posts this month. While I wish that I’d had more, I had a major lack of inspiration, so I’m not complaining.

If you haven’t visited the web version of my blog, you may not know that 52 Letters got a much-needed redesign this month. I realized that the design aesthetic that I had started using in my individual graphics for posts was very different from the way my blog looked…and that I liked it more. So I changed everything to match that new design theme. I also dropped the .wordpress in my blog name, which is mostly symbolic, but makes me feel good. 🙂 What do you think?

sorry for the low quality pic

One thing that I’m super proud of this month was my discussion post series Breaking Down the Trilogy, in which I talked about each book in a trilogy on its own. You can read Book One, Book Two, and Book Three.

I also wrote a random discussion post about which blog posts I actually read and got back into Top Ten Tuesday (with Top Ten Books On My Spring TBR and Top Ten Books I Meant To Talk About More).

In Reading and Reviewing

This was a less than great month for reading. It’s weird, but when I’m on breaks, I read less than when I’m in school. (Does that happen to anyone else?)

I only read two and a half books!!! They were really good, though.

• Ready Player One by Ernest Cline — 4/5 stars
  • a book that lived up to the hype…finally!
• The Alloy of Law by Brandon Sanderson — 4.5/5 stars
  • I didn’t do a really book review for this one, but I talked about one of my favorite characters and why I loved her so much
• Rook by Sharon Cameron — 3.5/5 stars
  • I read this book last month, but I reviewed it this month

I’m halfway through Shadows of Self by Brandon Sanderson, the second book in the Alloy of Law series. Oh! And I’m also reading Moby-Dick for school…and I’m actually enjoying it more than I thought I would.

In Writing

This was a great month for writing! (Wow, I don’t think I’ve written that in a while…) Though I didn’t read much on break, it’s okay, because I was actually writing!

I wrote about 10,000 words this month, most of those during the week of spring break. I know that for regular authors that could be a day’s work, but for me, it was more than I’ve done in a while. I’m almost done with my WIP…and then edits start. *cries*

I’m hoping that I can carry this momentum forward into April and finally finish this draft.

I also published three poems this month.

• The Secret of Perpetual Motion
• Stolen Fire
• Come Back

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How was your March? What are your plans for April?

Poetry: Come Back

You were intriguing

You were different

You smiled without

Smirking

Talked without

Boasting

Laughed without

Mocking

You were quiet

But confident

 

And I knew that it could

That it would

Fall apart—

In some way,

This was inevitable—

 

But I thought you’d come back

With arrogant shoulders

Or snarky lips

Or a laugh that reeked

With the stench of pride

 

I never imagined

That you’d come back

And still be so far away

 

It never occurred to me

That you could come back

Empty.

Poetry: Stolen Fire

I used to have a raging fire—

Crackling, dancing, bursting, writhing

Wouldn’t sit still, wouldn’t calm down

It devoured and it lived—

 

But I ran out of logs

But at least I still had kindling—

But I ran out of that as well

But at least I still had embers—

To hold back the looming darkness

But the wind carried each off

One by one…

Silent theif.

 

Where did that spark go?

I wonder

Fumbling in the dark

Who stole my matches?

Do they want me to freeze tonight?

When did the night

Grow so dark

And cold?

How will I get my fire back

When it never occurred to me to wonder

How the first one started?

 

How did I never notice

The importance of my fire

To beat back the night inside of me?

Poetry: The Secret of Perpetual Motion

I’ve no desire

To search for perpetual motion

No need—

I’ve already found it in a place called

High school

 

Day one, period one

Lecture, homework written down,

Passing period and now it’s period two

Lecture, some classwork, more homework to do

And now it’s period three

Discussion, some classwork, test tomorrow, need to study

You get the drift

 

Day two like day one

Three like two, and four like three

Day n+1 just the same as day n and day n-1

 

Stop thinking about today or tomorrow or goals or dreams

Just do the next thing in the pattern

 

That is the secret of perpetual motion

January Wrap Up!

January is finally over. I saw finally, because this month lasted about a million years. I can’t believe first semester has only been going on for three weeks!!!

In My Life

I started off this month with a few days with my grandparents and my aunt and uncle in Death Valley—which despite the ominous name is one of my favorite places. I’m planning on sharing some gorgeous nature photos with you guys next month (I’m just getting around to looking through the photos and editing them.)

Once school started, everything got crazy. Second semester got off to a roaring start. I’ve already had tests in basically every subject, and I’m back to hours of homework every night. Still, I’m feeling optimistic for finishing off junior year strong. (We’ll talk in a few months, that might change 😉 )

In Blogging

This month was okay for my blog. I had 13 posts. At the beginning of the year, I talked about my resolutions for reading and blogging in 2016. I revived my weekly feature Weekend Words for a week, and then it kind of fell apart again…

I also took part in Guest of the Month Club again. This time, Sophie @ Sophie the Bookworm was my partner, which was great! You can read her post here, and my guest post on her blog here.

In Reading and Reviewing

Despite school being crazy, I was able to get in a lot of reading this month. I loved most of the books I read, and I’m really excited to have another year filled with great books.

Unlike most months, I actually wrote reviews for every book I read this month this month. (Sorry for how awkwardly that is phrased.) Some of them didn’t get posted, but at least I’m starting to break my cycle of writing reviews like two weeks after I read the book…

Books I read this month 

(If I’ve written a review, it is linked to)

• The Walled City by Ryan Gruadin — 4.5/5 stars
• It’s Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini — 5/5 stars
• Melophobia by James Morris — 4/5 stars
• The Darkest Part of the Forest by Holly Black — 5/5 stars
• The Weight of Feathers by Anna-Marie McLemore — 3/5 stars
• Rebel Belle by Rachel Hawkins (Rebel Belle #1) — 4.5/5 stars
• Miss Mayhem by Rachel Hawkins (Rebel Belle #2) — 3.5/5 stars

I also started reading The Catcher in the Rye with my English class. I AM SO TORN about this book. I don’t know if I hate Holden or if I love him. We’re a bit more than halfway through, so we’ll see what I think by the end. 🙂

In Writing

This month was actually pretty great for writing! I’m really proud of myself for starting off 2016 and not immediately abandoning my goal to share more stories and poems on this blog. I took part in two Chuck Wendig writing challenges, which led me to write about some struggles I have when writing short stories. I added about 5,000 words to my WIP, which isn’t exactly great, but it’s better than none. 😉

Poems

• Racing to Our Futures
• Out of Nowhere

Short Stories

• Forest of Monsters
• The Hero Will Not Be Automatic

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So that was my January! How was yours? Did you read any great books? What are you plans for February?

 

Poetry: Out of Nowhere

It came out of nowhere

They say

But they are the ones who taught us to be silent

 

It came out of nowhere

They say

Because we followed instructions

Until we couldn’t—

Until the dam broke

And all we could do was scream

 

It came out of nowhere

They yell

As if not seeing a problem

Means it doesn’t exist

 

It came out of nowhere

They shout

As if the shame and silence they have forced upon us

Discredits us, instead of them

 

It came out of nowhere

They scream

Louder than our own shouts

Because their voices are not hoarse

From disuse and self-exile

 

Yes,

It came out of nowhere

But it was never nothing.